conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. You speak as if youre not single yourself! If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Thank you Fred. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Someone took their costume way too seriously. Steven Wright (comedian). If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. I'm fine. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. 41. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Take Your Time. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. 31. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. The hottest single of the year is me. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Because Jamaican me crazy! You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Because your ass is out of this world! Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Your secrets are always safe with me. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. 95. 2. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. But, they will grow up into a dog. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. You should really come with a warning label. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. provided, of course, that he really is dead." In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. What could go wrong? Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Was that comment meant to offend me? Im sorry. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Image: wikimedia commons 6. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Want to equip yourself with more responses? [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. 10. Oh, well 8. funny response to are you still alive. It could always have been worse. You might just find one. How did you get here? "See, I will finally make you smile.". My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 101. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 3. 88. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Are you Jamaican? Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. A little bit worse now that youve asked. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Who knows, they might just do it. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Then they throw dirt in your face. That's boyfriend material. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. I'm alive, whoa! My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." But Ive also had better. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Life is up to something. But it can be funny. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 11. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. You have an old soul. To contact our editors please use our contact form. 5. 37. 4. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. 70. 14. Did someone leave your cage open? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. *Siri activates front camera*. Usually, people live and learn. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Sort of. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Finnish with this conversation! Hanging by a thread. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Financially? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 1. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? I cant even afford to feed myself! Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Pick your struggle. 53. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Do you really care? 36. That's impossible. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. I learned my lesson. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Checklists & Reminders! 15. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. *sips wine/tea*. Totally fine! People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. a fate worse than death." But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 60. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Most of the time, that is not true. 7. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. I died last week, since then. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. 71. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching.